Clownfucker – Snedwick P. Philebius

clownfucker

All was well after the horrifying storm last night. The electrical circuit was back up and running and the dysfunctional Linux system in a safe mode. Nothing was to be feared anymore. All clandestine deciphering modulated files were once again sheltered in DARPA’s cyber security crypt. It was a dull Tuesday, glorious spring was about to knock at the door. People were seen taking the day at a slow pace. How could you blame the poor office staff after yesterday’s lunacy? Masturbating clowns prancing across the desktop;shattering reminiscent of a climaxing Super Mario , playing “Whatchamacallit !! A candy that makes my dick dandy”, was horrifying than those ejaculating robotic bumblebees. A cyber nightmare indeed!

A – Here you go with your Cuppa Joe.
B – Do you have an Advil?
A – Advil…eh? Headache? Menancing clowns eh?
B – (Twitching in his chair) Er… more of a backache.
A – (sensing the uneasiness of his colleague) Did…no you didn’t? Hahaha! Good ol’ bastard did some anal probing last night. Was it those candy licking dandy clowns?
B – No shit! Er…Just tried a mock test of Snafu’s Productivity Dildo. Blame those slutty Kardashians!
A – Deep eh? Was it better than those robotic bees?
B – Jeez…. Chewed on like 3 packs of Junior Mints on each grunt.

Out of the blue, the dragging computer screen flash a staggering repetition: – ‘Alice in the Palace’; flooding the screen approximating a hacker’s vendetta.

B– (still experiencing posterior soreness) ..I’m on it….. the IPO supply…..
A – Hey! Hang on a sec… that name rings a bell for sure. Alice…..Alice….Alice…. Aha!! The bloody clown groupie!!
B – Clown groupie?(Frantically working the keypad deciphering the source of this cyber terror)
A – Yeah… Alice Taraquin, the candy lady.
B – Huh?
A – That tight piece of ass who likes to suck on caramelized apples while she twirls the candy canes.
B – Twirl where dude?
A – Hahaha!!…..How’s that ass pain coming?
( B sniggers at the laugh. How he wished he wouldn’t have dugged dip? Fucking Kardashians!)

A – Do you remember Tim from Snafu? Hahaha!! Sure you do? the motherfucker tells me ,Alice has a serious fetish for clowns with big feet with an affinity to no. 9. She says, “the bigger the better”.
B – Hmmm…. so it is true what the ladies say about big feet.
A – Why do you care? The lunchroom is buzzing about you shoe number. Five is it?
B – Shut the crap out! Tell me more about this Alice chick.
A – Well.. rumor has it, she has a thing for some Sir Johnny and that Towel clown. She ravenously fucks them between the dog training acts; circle jerking to minty obscenities. Bitch! seem to like some posterior explorations too. If it wasn’t for your feet, you could have been a good candidate for Reese ass Pieces. Hahahaha!! That’s some crazy ass orgy.
B– Fucking Bastard! Maybe try to press a button or two sometimes. Heck! Clear some things up…will ya? Where does Alice finds all those horny clowns?
A – Brisette’s Big Top Circus!!
B – Big Top , eh? ( sniggers at the very thought)
A – Oh yeah! That’s one mysterious lady, who hates when asked about dead clowns.
B– Dead clowns? Huh?? Praying mantis ordeal??
A – Boy! That’s chick’s got a nice rack.
B – A nice rack, eh? That’s why the Big Top Banner. Hahaha!! I get it now.
A – Dude with your assfucking, don’t even think about tapping that piece of ass. Word has it , she’s a fierce vixen…..might give you another treacherous anal probing.

Once again the computer screen went blank again. The name disappeared and so did the input source. Fear crept in those languid minds again. Who was it now? CIA…some covert operation? Those guys from RAND? There was a buzz about some classified Antarctica expedition. Zilch was the answer to all; just some clown jerking off to the sounds of peanut coated candy.

A – Let it be. It won’t do any good. Are you planning dildo experimentation?
B – What’s your fucking problem?
A – Relax, dude! If you’re free tonight wanna chill at the bar downstairs?
B – only if you enlighten me more on that clown orgy. Maybe that can get all worked up for another Snafu product.

As those oblivious men locked their offices to get some rounds of Jack Daniels, the screens lighted up again….


Every time a woman fingers, a clown is born with a licorice.

4/5****

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